This entry is more of an entertaining narrative than a simple photo post. So please don't be intimidated by the text:photo ratio of this post; I will make it worth your while.
Our apartment has four raccoons that live in the ceiling and scratch around in the walls. It gets mildly aggravating during the day and it keeps some of the good folks here awake at night. I had said that I'd help try and deal with them when the time was right and had made comments about making a coonskin cap from whatever I caught. I'm not really sure how serious I was initially. But last night, it all changed. Last night, opportunity arose and we struck the first official blow of the Coon Wars.
It started off with looks of confusion. Lauren, roommate Andy, and myself were all downstairs reading like good sophisticated people when suddenly from outside we heard the chattering of our raccoon nemeses and a loud THUD right outside the window. One of the young ones had fallen from its home in the roof above onto the open window just behind us. We went out to investigated and saw that the mother was also down on the ground nearby. We decided that we weren't going to let this opportunity pass us by. We declared war.
Andy grabbed a wooden plank and chased the mother, who disappeared into the trees out back, taking shelter behind the dumpster. We then focused on the young one, who was clinging to the wall of the building. There was some debate about how to do all of this; Lauren was not going to kill the little fella (was a boy, we KNOW), Austin had his trusty bow and arrows in case he wanted some target practice, and Andy had his plank of wood (still scaring mom off occasionally). It was finally decided once the little coon got too close to the air conditioner for Austin to feel confident in shooting it. A good blow to the head and it was done (Okay, just to be safe and make sure the little guy wasn't suffering, it was probably 2 or 3 in total). We realized that this was the perfect opportunity to learn how to skin a fur-bearing animal and have it be okay if I did poorly, so I grabbed the young coon cadaver and took it around the side of the building. (He poked it a few times with his trusty combat knife first to test its deadness, it was dead. As dead as could be.)
Since I'd never skinned an animal before, Andy gave me some pointers and walked me through it. In lieu of a proper skinning knife, I used my combat knife that I carried on mission in Afghanistan. It got the job done, and eventually I had a small but intact raccoon fur in my hand.
(Hey, he didn't give you the best details! Sheesh, that square. Firstly, the combat knife's tip wasn't sharp enough to make the initial incision so, Mr. Andy retrieved his box cutter and used that for the first cut. Yes. We opened up a coon like one would open a new refrigerator. Then we struggled with making the cuts, often using the serrated section of the knife to try to saw through the parts that needed cutting. We, being the morbid people we are, were making comments and jokes about the raccoon's expressions during the process. And we, being the immature people we are, also giggled over the raccoon's naughty bits. **FUN FACT** Raccoons have bones in their penises that were once/still are used as toothpicks **END FUN FACT** So, finally, we get everything done and we're all sick of being eaten alive by the mosquitoes despite our citronella candle but we are excited to have a coon skin.)
I am very proud to have achieved this milestone and to have begun the process of clearing out our unwelcome guests. I now have one small fur to put to the use of making a coonskin cap, and I will be looking up how to tan it soon so that it is ready for when I get the others. Below I stand with my trophy. We will keep you updated with the happenings of the Coon Wars, and consequently my homemade coonskin cap. Stay safe out there, and watch out for the Coons. They're sneaky little buggers.
(I'm also proud of Austin and his achievement. He's a weird fella, I like him. I'm also pretty darn sure that mama coon is planning our death and the other two baby coons are too afraid to leave their cozy roof hideaway. We don't want to kill mom until the babies are out because we don't want babies trapped in our roof. As a little reward for reading, I'll tell you my favorite exchange from that night.
Austin : Just give him a good whack
Andy : Awww, He's just so cute!... *THWACK*
Also, we now have a coon skin wrapped up in three Ziploc bags in the freezer and a little, fur-less coon body buried somewhere beside our building in the trees.
Well, I'll be going but I'll try to write something else coon (get it, like soon, but raccoon-ier)(HA!)
-Lauren)
Our apartment has four raccoons that live in the ceiling and scratch around in the walls. It gets mildly aggravating during the day and it keeps some of the good folks here awake at night. I had said that I'd help try and deal with them when the time was right and had made comments about making a coonskin cap from whatever I caught. I'm not really sure how serious I was initially. But last night, it all changed. Last night, opportunity arose and we struck the first official blow of the Coon Wars.
It started off with looks of confusion. Lauren, roommate Andy, and myself were all downstairs reading like good sophisticated people when suddenly from outside we heard the chattering of our raccoon nemeses and a loud THUD right outside the window. One of the young ones had fallen from its home in the roof above onto the open window just behind us. We went out to investigated and saw that the mother was also down on the ground nearby. We decided that we weren't going to let this opportunity pass us by. We declared war.
Andy grabbed a wooden plank and chased the mother, who disappeared into the trees out back, taking shelter behind the dumpster. We then focused on the young one, who was clinging to the wall of the building. There was some debate about how to do all of this; Lauren was not going to kill the little fella (was a boy, we KNOW), Austin had his trusty bow and arrows in case he wanted some target practice, and Andy had his plank of wood (still scaring mom off occasionally). It was finally decided once the little coon got too close to the air conditioner for Austin to feel confident in shooting it. A good blow to the head and it was done (Okay, just to be safe and make sure the little guy wasn't suffering, it was probably 2 or 3 in total). We realized that this was the perfect opportunity to learn how to skin a fur-bearing animal and have it be okay if I did poorly, so I grabbed the young coon cadaver and took it around the side of the building. (He poked it a few times with his trusty combat knife first to test its deadness, it was dead. As dead as could be.)
Since I'd never skinned an animal before, Andy gave me some pointers and walked me through it. In lieu of a proper skinning knife, I used my combat knife that I carried on mission in Afghanistan. It got the job done, and eventually I had a small but intact raccoon fur in my hand.
(Hey, he didn't give you the best details! Sheesh, that square. Firstly, the combat knife's tip wasn't sharp enough to make the initial incision so, Mr. Andy retrieved his box cutter and used that for the first cut. Yes. We opened up a coon like one would open a new refrigerator. Then we struggled with making the cuts, often using the serrated section of the knife to try to saw through the parts that needed cutting. We, being the morbid people we are, were making comments and jokes about the raccoon's expressions during the process. And we, being the immature people we are, also giggled over the raccoon's naughty bits. **FUN FACT** Raccoons have bones in their penises that were once/still are used as toothpicks **END FUN FACT** So, finally, we get everything done and we're all sick of being eaten alive by the mosquitoes despite our citronella candle but we are excited to have a coon skin.)
I am very proud to have achieved this milestone and to have begun the process of clearing out our unwelcome guests. I now have one small fur to put to the use of making a coonskin cap, and I will be looking up how to tan it soon so that it is ready for when I get the others. Below I stand with my trophy. We will keep you updated with the happenings of the Coon Wars, and consequently my homemade coonskin cap. Stay safe out there, and watch out for the Coons. They're sneaky little buggers.
(I'm also proud of Austin and his achievement. He's a weird fella, I like him. I'm also pretty darn sure that mama coon is planning our death and the other two baby coons are too afraid to leave their cozy roof hideaway. We don't want to kill mom until the babies are out because we don't want babies trapped in our roof. As a little reward for reading, I'll tell you my favorite exchange from that night.
Austin : Just give him a good whack
Andy : Awww, He's just so cute!... *THWACK*
Also, we now have a coon skin wrapped up in three Ziploc bags in the freezer and a little, fur-less coon body buried somewhere beside our building in the trees.
Well, I'll be going but I'll try to write something else coon (get it, like soon, but raccoon-ier)(HA!)
-Lauren)
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